Britain’s immigration minister, Brandon Lewis, announced that the hated burgundy EU passport will be decommissioned in favour of a British ‘true blue’ cover following Brexit.

The Great Yarmouth MP told journalists that: “Leaving the EU gives us a unique opportunity to restore our national identity and forge a new path for ourselves in the world.”

The English Channel’s news editor, Maude Drivel, said: “This astonishing outburst of common-sense from a Conservative minister is to be welcomed.

“Now all they need to do is reinstate the several thousand border guards that Theresa May and David Cameron’s pussy-footed governments have cut since 2010.”

Budgets for border controls have been cut by the Tories by 25% since 2010 despite the number of people coming to our country increasing by 12 million every year.

In 2016, two former Metropolitan Police commissioners, and a former head of counter-terrorism at Scotland Yard, broke their silence to condemn Tory border control budget cuts.

UKIP’s John Bickley has repeatedly called border controls a “reckless and unnecessary gamble with public safety”.

English Channel research data shows that some five thousand British border guards could be reinstated at a cost of just over £2bn…a mere fraction of the £40 UK taxpayer bill Theresa May has gifted to Brussels.


  1. Regarding Border Control, I experienced this, first hand as a uniformed employee of Dover Harbour Board. From 1974 – 1988 I worked in the Eastern Docks in Dover, then called the Car Ferry Terminal. Both Immigration and HM Customs services, were the authorities keeping our country secure, and the manpower of both was sufficient. Also in attendance with Immigration Officers were plain clothed Special Branch Police Officers, who checked passports for known criminals entering or leaving the country. They were supplied by the Met, but later handed over to Kent County Constabulary. Dover Harbour Board has its own Police Force with similar powers to those of the British Transport Police, which carried out Policing duties within the Port, 365 days a year. There was also a Port Nurse who dealt with any incoming health issues.
    My colleagues and I were a multi purpose body of men who were responsible for the smooth running of the port, with duties like, Traffic Control, manning and operating the car parks for the Ferry Companies, assisting in loading ferries, presenting the travelling public to Immigration and Customs officers, making sure that embarkation/landing cards were filled out by foreign nationals, and of course Port Security. We covered every area of the Port including Import and Export lorry parks. In those days many lorries were required for customs inspection and we allocated bays for the lorries in the import freight shed, for that work to be carried out.
    The Port was patrolled by DHB Police, ourselves ,and Immigration and Customs officers often did spot checks. It was because of this, that anyone trying to enter the country illegally in a lorry, was highly unlikely. I remember an occasion when customs officers found a man hiding in a VW Beatle, between the back seat and the engine compartment. After that VW Beatles were searched and many owners were upset when their ‘in-car entertainment’ was ripped out.
    Incoming cars, we directed into the immigration booths, where passports were checked. If an Immigration Officer was in doubt about any passenger/s, we would be called to escort the car and occupants into a secure compound, we would have all their passports, which we handed to another Immigration Officer who would interrogate them further. Any rejects among foot passengers would be collected by DHB Police and taken back to the Ferry Company which landed them. Passports would be handed to a ships officer (Purser usually, I think) and returned to them on landing in either France or Belgium. The returns were always at the Shipping Company’s expense. If we governed ourselves we could bring our border back to Dover (and other sea and air ports in the UK) and perhaps this or a similar procedure could be adopted again. It wasn’t as free flowing as it is now, and some people complained about being delayed when they arrived back in Dover. The Immigration officials used to say, ‘We do the checks at the point of entry. We don’t come knocking you up in the middle of the night, AS THEY DO IN OTHER COUNTRIES’. It’s a different story today. Border Farce Officers have to visit Kebab Shops and foreign restaurants, searching for people who entered the country illegally, due to Sloppy EU Border Controls.
    Peter Aylett

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